Interracial Dating: How to Deal With Innocent Yet Offensive Questions

We live in 2014, but sadly the technological advances that we have made over centuries have not made us any more tolerant of different races and ethnicities. For those of us who have decided to look past our own ethnicity to find love, there is often looks of confusion and even hate. What do interracial couples go through when they are out in public? Is it still a problem for some people to accept that America is becoming more and more bi-racial? With help from, you can gain insight into couples from the other box and make conclusions for yourself.

In “8 Questions Interracial Couples Are Tired of Hearing,” Huffington Post explored “eight seemingly innocent questions that have deeper, darker implications for interracial couples.” Some questions are just sparked from pure curiosity; however, if phrased incorrectly, can make any couple feel awkward—even if they are not bi-racial.


For instance, “Wouldn’t it be easier to just date your own race?” is a question that has no answer because love and attraction does not know race. Furthermore, problems that occur during relationships are not dependent on race. Money, lack of communication and intimacy are common issues in relationships, none of which have to do with race but the individuals themselves. This question also confuses the definition of “race,” which is based on physical appearance and “ethnicity” that consists of a particular culture. It is easy to date someone who looks like you but by not going outside of the box, you risk “cutting out a whole group of viable dating candidates.” The problem may lie in a conflict of cultural traditions, not in physical attraction.

“How does your family feel about your partner’s race?” is another question The Huffington Post found it was a common question asked to interracial couples. The answer to this one is simple—it depends on the generation of each family member. You may have that one person in the family who does not want to risk losing ethnic traditions as the future children become blended with different cultures. This leads to another question, “But think of the children! Aren’t you worried they will be bullied?” The Huffington Post answered it perfectly: “I would rather my hypothetical children grow up as interesting, deep and charismatic bi-racial children in a loving home than to be just another statistic.” If a child bullies another because of race, then there is an issue with the values being taught in that house or someone is not paying attention to what that child is learning.


Intolerance should not be impressed on children because if they learn to be intolerant of other races and ethnicities, than the issue of race on every level will not be rectified. Additionally, to ask an interracial couple, “Do you only date [insert ethnic group]?” is a question of curiosity but holds big assumptions. Again, love is skin deep and it begins with tolerance—loving and accepting each other for who we are, not what we are.


About Stacy Narine

Originally from Paterson, NJ, I recently graduated from Seton Hall University with my B.A in English. I will be starting my M.A program in Literature at Seton Hall University in spring 2015. I love Pinterest, Photoshop, and writing fictional short stories about characters who are trying to establish a sense of individuality while in relationships. Ready to momentarily stray from fiction, I am motivated to write about topics that are important to women.

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