Most books claim that love goes hand in hand with pain. Therefore, most people always anticipate that love should lead to suffering. So, the concept that love is painful has forced many people to anticipate the difficult times in a relationship to feel normal. This narrative applies to most people in a relationship and is mostly felt by Russians.
Anticipating the Pain
Leta is an ethnologist from Russia aged thirty who was brought up believing in this narrative as well. She felt quite unusual and insecure, being in a relationship with no pain or worries. Therefore, she sat there, waiting for pieces to add up. She believes that happiness is far more complicated than suffering in some sense.
Why is it that society doesn’t don’t talk about happiness? When we think about our literature, there very few to no books talking about happiness. Most books focus on topics like history, war, or Chernobyl; therefore, forgetting essential things in life like happiness. People rarely think about it, to the point that people have no clear vision of what to do when they are happily in love. It seems like happiness is a world foreign to Russian society and probably most of us.
“Some even feel uncomfortable being happy, it doesn’t feel right when you have everything and everyone around you,” said Leta.
Leta doesn’t know what love feels like because she hasn’t truly experienced it. She is expectant that maybe in the future, she will get to experience what happily in love feels like.
Why does love get Diluted?
Why does love get diluted in the most important decisive moments of our life? When one answers this, then they have answers to most questions about love. As days go by, people keep turning inwards to their private lives. Today society lives in an era of private happiness. Voltaire once said jokingly that if one didn’t know that they were to fall in love at a certain age, then they would never be familiar with the emotion in question.
What is love? Is it possible to love someone? When you imagine something that doesn’t exist in you, then there is always an empty space. Is it possible to love one person throughout your whole life? So far, most people have not had any success with it. As human nature, we easily turn down people who don’t meet our ideal image in some way despite them offering their love towards us.
Is this Happily in Love?
Maybe love is the interest in living for another person. Coffee tastes better when you drink it with someone else, right? The bread tastes better when you eat it together. Even the feeling of hunger gets better when it’s two people rather than one. You can live a full life without another person, but it’s such a misery.
When you love, you become afraid of losing it, but then you remember it’s not going to last, and the misery begins once more. If the love is mutual, to be there with someone, to hear their voice, to discuss together, to be silent together, then it’s wonderful. In the beginning, this person is an unknown iceberg, and you seem not to understand them, but if there is love, then that person finds a way to show their love for you. Lastly, each one of us has their own unique ‘happily in love.’
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