Four Ways to Know if Your Partner is Really “Fine”

It happens almost all the time when couples fight—one gives into the other’s argument and answers “fine” when asked if they are okay with the way the fight ended. They may say that they are fine, but do you truly believe them? Here are a few body gestures that can help you determine whether or not your significant other is in fact “fine”.

1. Eye contact
Staring someone in the eyes when answering a question is the surest way you can believe what they are saying. If your partner does not look at you in the eyes when the say they’re fine, than you should be aware that your fight still bothers them and it might not be over. If they do look into your eyes and tell you they are fine, do not be fooled! Hold their gaze for a moment after they tell you and see how long they stand. If they direct their stare away from yours as soon as they say they are fine, then they may be saying it just because they think it is what you want to hear or they are completely fed up with the situation.

2. Uneven tone of voice
If your partner’s voice is too high or too low, they are still upset about your fight. A low voice indicates that they are trying to cover up their frustrations, while a higher pitch denotes anger and fatigue. If your partner has a monotone voice, it suggests that they are trying to forget about the entire altercation.

3. The shoulder shrug
You do not want your significant other to shrug their shoulders when they claim they are fine because it may mean that they do not care about what was said during your argument. If they shrug their shoulders, know that the fight will come back up in the future. If they show such a nonchalant expression, then it means that your arguments went in one ear and out the other.

4. Shielding words underneath their breath
This is a sure-fire way to know whether or not your partner is truly fine. If you think they said something under their breath after they said they were fine, then most likely they did. This could indicate that they are hiding particular feelings and thoughts that they think they could not say during the argument. It can also mean that they have not said everything they wanted to.

So next time you and your partner have a fight, pay attention to their gestures and body language afterwards. Even if they say that they are fine, there are key signs that can tell you when they are lying. But before you accuse them of not being honest with their feelings, wait a few hours after your fight to bring your suspicions up. This way you can figure out how to point them out nicely and you both have had some time to cool off to discuss the fight as calmly as possible.



About Stacy Narine

Originally from Paterson, NJ, I recently graduated from Seton Hall University with my B.A in English. I will be starting my M.A program in Literature at Seton Hall University in spring 2015. I love Pinterest, Photoshop, and writing fictional short stories about characters who are trying to establish a sense of individuality while in relationships. Ready to momentarily stray from fiction, I am motivated to write about topics that are important to women.

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