Everyone fears change. This is very true when it comes to relationship status changes, particularly when you are accustomed to being single. Many believe that men are, for the most part, the ones with the fears of commitment, but the truth is everyone has them, on different levels, but the fear is there. This is most especially true for people who have had very few romantic relationships, either because they chose not to, were concentrating on other commitments or it just so happened to be that way because feelings quickly fizzled. While many singles do desire several of the benefits of being in a relationship, adventure partner, lazy day partner, cuddle partner, sex and other simple couple things, nonetheless, fearful thoughts often emerge. Whether fear wins out over the desires of being a couple is based on each individual’s regard to that fear, some of which are magnified depending on their environment and whether or not their close friends are in a relationship themselves. Some of these fears include but are not limited to the following:
The idea that you will devote less time to your career.
You are the independent woman you’ve always wanted and imagined yourself being. You have a career that you’ve worked hard for and helps keep things that way. If you went into this career single you’re probably not as open to the idea of dating for a long commitment just yet. Your sight is set on maintaining the upward progression you’ve been having career-wise, financially and mentally for that matter. Thinking that things would stay exactly as is when adding an important factor to the mix would be irrational. Yes, a relationship may help your overall happiness and thus influence your work life in a similar manner, but the fear that it will have a slight negative impact on your job advancement inevitably sneaks into your thoughts.
Thinking that you won’t have time to find a career.
If you are looking for a career path and can’t seem to get a grip on something you love just yet -and you are single-perhaps you think getting into a relationship will make it that much more difficult. In a relationship you will have someone else to think about other than yourself. Sure you don’t have to rearrange your priorities but you will have to fit in some time for that other person if you want to make it work. You thus question whether a relationship is even possible and if its even worth it.
Believing that you won’t have time for girl time.
Time with friends is a major aspect of a single girl’s life. When someone else comes into the equation not all your weekends are free and not all your vacation time is open for grabs. You understand that in any relationship leisure time with that person may be an amazing experience, but there will be time that you have to skip on girls nights or crazy trips -not all the time, but you will actually have to say “no” to your friends’ plans more often. However, this is a different situation if most of your friends are also in a relationship.
Alone time will be hard to come by.
Most people appreciate the time they have with themselves. Sure a partner would be great on the days you feel lonely, but on the days you want to just be alone -if there are any -it’s great not to have to explain yourself. Moreover, if you’ve been single for quite some time, spending all of your free time with someone isn’t always your most ideal situation and you begin to question whether times of feeling lonely outweigh the freedom of being on your own and doing as you please.
The assumption that you will end up hurt.
No one want to get hurt. If you have some experience in the dating world and are not currently involved in a romantic relationship you were likely let down before. Everyone has their own previous relationship experiences -even if it never really developed into anything serious- and the reason for things not working out vary greatly for everyone. However, when the possibility of developing a romantic relationship presents itself you understand that there is a great possibility that it may eventually be broken off and there is also the possibility that you may leave with a broken heart. Past experiences will greatly influence how strong these thoughts are.
Image: Via Flickr/Nattu
